Tag Archives: Adventure

Bills aka Looming Cloud of Annoyance

For several months now I have been ruminating over moving back in with my parents. This has been one of those “mylifehascompletelychangedandnowIneedtofindadirection” things. This started when I was attempting to brainstorm with friends what amazing opportunity I should pursue. Buy a boat, move to another country, move across the country, etc. All of the things that “older” people tell me they would have/should have done, if they knew then what they know now. You know, that conversation that goes something like this: “You’re free now. You just got out of a shitty relationship and there is nothing to hold you back from doing what you want! If I were you, I would just travel and do lots of crazy stuff. “And then they ask “What’s stopping you?” And I say “Well, I guess I have these bills to pay, and my student loans you know.” And then I start to think about how I had done all of things that society told me I was supposed to do i.e. go to college, get married, go to graduate school, get a nice paying job, think about having some babies, buy a newer car, decorate a beautiful home. Check, Check, Check. And now I’ve done those things, but now I look at where I am and I’m still starved for adventure, love, and freedom.

20120411-120202.jpg

“What would you do if you won a billion dollars?”

“I’d pay off my debt and loans, travel, and buy a place in Europe, and make art.”

“What would you do if you won a million dollars?”

“I’d pay off my debt and loans, and travel to Europe, and make art for a couple months.”

“What would you do if you won 10,000 dollars?”

“I’d pay off my debt, and buy some Starbucks.”

And so I am faced with the question of moving in with my parents, rent free. If I did, I could pay off all of my debt in 3 years, 2 months, and 9 days (or 38.2 months, or 166.5 weeks, or 1,165.5 days). I would be 31 years old.

There’s only one thing to do.

Obviously go to New York for a week and then decide.

20120411-120601.jpg

 

Advertisements

Adventure is in My Blood

If you ask me what my life might look like a year from now, I would have absolutely no idea what to say. Everyday I wake up, and I think “I wonder if something life changing is going to happen today.”

The problem with this thought is that it’s never just one event that changes your life forever. It’s a series of things that happen very slowly–and sometimes painfully–that get you to where you are. Then we stop and think “how on earth did I get to this place?” What kind of life story do I want? I can’t tell you the details like most people might be able to. I have no idea what I should be working towards. Some have it down to a mental check list; spouse, pet, nice house, 2.5 children, job that is bearable, etc. = Nice happy love story with a happy ending.

Unfortunately my list doesn’t look like this. Actually, I don’t know where my list went. I’m pretty sure a couple things were checked off, then scratched off, others erased, and only a few starred. However, on the bottom of the page–artfully depicted bien sûr–was a little sail boat.

I imagine that one creates their life list based on a combination of factors such as family values, childhood experiences, and societal pressures. I wonder though, how much genetics plays part in the desires of the heart. My grandma Mary, pictured above, was bound for adventure. True, she had some very trying life experiences, and perhaps some interesting ways of dealing with them, but I like to believe that she simply followed the wind. Living in Israel, working as a flight attendant, sailing, traveling the states in a motor home, and enjoying the beauty of meeting different people everywhere.

Adventure is in my blood. I have no agenda, no check list, no pressing life goals. Just a small little drawing of a sailboat. Time to follow the wind.